Titles. Hobolympics

It’s taken me all of 5 minutes to discover the hardest thing about blogging is coming up with a title for the blog itself. It’s not like naming a child where you just grab one of those name books, mash your finger onto a page and pick one to throw on the birth certificate - a blog is important. A blog is forever!

At first I wanted my title to incorporate Charlie Brown in some way because I’ve been told my personality resembles that of the prepubescent balding Peanut…awesome. Perhaps I should be thankful that I can identify with such a widespread childhood icon but I think I’d prefer to be associated with one of the X-Men…or Watterson’s Calvin. Back to the point at hand though - the bottom line is there’s no way to put Chuck’s name in the blog title withoutimmediately sounding like the suicide letter of a Death Cab groupie. For the time being I’m going with some good old fashioned onomatopoeia that sums up my capacity for titling - blerf.

Onto more pressing matters - Bums. I’ve lived in and around a few major cities in my life and I’ve seen my share of homeless members of society but I have to say I’ve never experienced bums with the same impetus as those that surround me these days in Boston. New York bums know the standard tricks - cardboard signs, cups of loose change, lack of soap. London bums - well, let’s face it, every Englishman wears a top hat and monocle so you’d be hard-pressed to tell the difference between a vagrant and a member of parliament (hint: there isn’t one). But these Boston bums run circles around the rest of the world’s transients. I’ve been followed, yelled at and had miscellaneous objects thrown at me (with impossible accuracy). Maybe I ooze that Charlie Brown aura and they think I’ll be a pushover for a few bucks but I’m inclined to think that these guys are simply in it to win it. They’ve committed their life to bumdom and if they’re gonna be homeless they’re going to be the best at it.

Being the philanthropist that I am (read: horrible person) I came up with a plan to help get some of these guys off the street: Hobolympics. I’m not talking your run on the mill “Bumfights” (what is this YouTube 2003?) I’m talking full-blown, torch-carrying, creepy-beijing-opening-ceremony Olympics. I’d love to flesh this idea out further but I’ve got nothing beyond a “Dumpster Diving” event and a grand prize of ironic tax exemption.

blerf